It is now about five months ago, since I have fallen line, hook and sinker for the social media adventure which has led to this blog. I am still immensely enjoying writing, though I wish I could somehow find time to post more frequently (I have just missed one week now, because life pre-xmas is frantic), and I wish I could finally come up with a method to note down the ideas I have for posts while driving.
Also I have become rather addicted to Instagram. My addiction to Instagram is something I wouldn’t really have thought possible since I considered myself quite immune to the fascination of Social Media (yes, you may laugh at me at this point). And I thought I wasn’t that interested in strange peoples’ lives on Social Media.
Turns out I’m a nosy Mom
Which, actually, I’m still not, UNLESS this other person has kids. (Which again tells me that having kids certainly has changed a part of me. The Mom-part which I’m still discovering, even after three years and two kids.) Since Mimi #1 was born, I have fallen into the habit of “momparing” (mom-comparing, yup, I just made this up). And I believe a lot of mothers are doing this. Let me assure you, this has nothing to do with proving that I am superior or inferior to other Moms, or jealousy at their life. It is the fact that you find yourself unable to stop comparing your kids to other kids and your situation to other Mom’s lives, all wrapped into the endeavour to do the best for your family. It is somehow like trying on a different wardrobe just to make sure that what you’re wearing is actually what suits you and what you feel comfortable in. A way to make sure your current situation is ok the way it is. And – of course- to ascertain the known fact that your kids are the best, smartest, happiest etc…. Because however you compare your kids, that will inevitably be the outcome, which is exactly as it should be for every parent.
Someone must be making things up here, right?
But I have also discovered on Instagram that there’s one area where I do not compare and which frankly makes me a wee bit worried. This worry has started to become more accentuated with the rapidly approaching Christmas. It is the field of crafts, cookie-baking and general Instagram-worthy creativity, outfittery and interior design. I am still blown away by how many profiles abound with pictures of perfectly baked goods, perfectly designed appartments, perfectly wrapped gifts and perfectly dressed Moms. Not to mention their makeup and hair. How??? How do they do that? They must either be superwomen (which I secretly suspect), or terribly rich with an army of stylists and nannies to make this work (nope, don’t think so for most of them). Or they must be very selective when posting pictures and spending a lot of time on the perfect setup. This is something I a.) do not have and b.) contradicts what I am searching for in Social Media: the possibility to find like-minded people (yep, we’re talking about the filter bubble issue here). Because I would so love to see I’m not alone in this.
Let me be honest here
Which is why I have decided to share, via this blog and probably even more so via Instagram, what’s really going on in our crazy house. What I want is to share some of the things that (mostly) make me laugh for all different reasons. Because, quite often, laughing is what saves me in moments where only yelling or crying would be the other option with the effect of making things far worse than they actually are. And I’d love to share those laughs and get some in return. I would like to ascertain that my growing feeling that I’m losing my mind is not just me losing my mind, but is a normal stage when living with two
short dictators small kids . Parents do not have time to finish ONE SINGLE thought. I have, in fact, started losing clothes in random places, something which hasn’t happened to me since primary school. And, as you’ve also seen on my Instagram feed, we have become shoplifters.
There are so many people who show me perfectly staged moments, but this is not what I feel like. And it certainly isn’t what my life feels like.
My life feels like a highspeed race with only drunk drivers in cars without any ABS and airbags on a dark road nobody has driven on before.
Most days we’re just winging it, trying desperately not to drop too many balls. And I know (or at least I hope) that this is normal. Normal if you’re trying to have a job and kids and a relationship (and probably just as normal, if you’re at home full-time, since this comes with a whole set of expectations too). It can’t be just our apartment that – if you’re not having oodles of space, but probably even then- looks like the site where a small hurricane regularly passes through every 20 minutes.
It can’t be just us that have at least five constantly pending urgent projects towards the improvement of our household of which we manage to cross off about one every 4 months? (how hard can it be to find and buy a new kitchen table? Answer: bloody damn nigh to impossible). And how are all the other Mums doing in the ongoing battle against the clothes which are too small vs. the ones that fit vs. the ones you got given by friends which are still too big (and don’t you dare to forget about these).
On the way to finding out what I want to bring across
So, I feel, I am slowly but steadily approaching the core of the matter and the core of what we are and want to be as parents and what I want this blog to be about. We’re of the average parenting* section and we do not have any ambitions to be amongst the highflyers. We’re amongst the set who are trying to survive the daily craze, do our best and enjoy the ride. And certainly the latter must be the most important part. Hell, we only get to do this once and I am sure we will one day look back and not know where that family-time has gone. So I don’t want to spend too much energy agonising over how our life might not look perfect from the outside (because it ain’t – and it is at the same time). Or how my kids are not wearing matching clothes. To be honest, these days I’m happy if Mimi #1 actually wears clothes.
I want us to make sure we put as much of US as we can into this parenting-thing. And I would love to know that there are people out there we could have a laugh with virtually. Since with kids and jobs and all, we hardly get to meet all the great friends we have in the real world in person, so why not use the great invention of Social Media?
My hopes for this blog
So I’m hoping that, over time, this blog will grow into a little community of people who also marvel about the beauty and complete crazyness of parenting. A community of funny, exhausted and above all honest humans who know that life is serious, but that you can’t take it seriously all the time. After having read this article in the Tagesanzeiger today I am, more than ever, convinced that it is so important to manage expectations also with people who aren’t yet parents. There are a lot of things which change with kids, and not always in a good way. But most of the time (really, almost always. Almost.), we wouldn’t want to go back to pre-kids era. So this is also why at the end of every post I’m urging you to share and comment, in the hope that we can all have a laugh or a cry, and something to talk about, even if you do not always agree with our approach.
*”Average Parenting” is a term and an Instagram account which I became familiar with through one of my favourite bloggers called Mommyshorts. She has just recently launched a book with that title.
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