October 16, 2017

Thank you Summer 2017

So yes, it’s been a while. A long while in fact. A while as in a whole beautiful summer in between this blogpost and the last one. So to tie the two together I thought why not do a “summer-summary” of its greatest hits:

Baditime

  • The first time (yes) I actually went to the Badi (Swimming baths) with the Mimis. Twice, in fact. I know I know there are Mums who spend their entire summers there but I’m not (yet) one of them. For various reasons but mainly because I’m a lazy parent and I find getting there and back again bloody exhausting. It means moving a shedload of things to that place in the blistering heat. Like enough towels, sand toys, foodstuff, rubber animals on top of the usual crap a parent takes with them. Not to mention the suncream.
    Summer2017_Badi

    Thank God, Grandma thought of preparing some food other than chips & ice cream!

    Summer2017_Badi_Rochen

    See all that crap behind us? Yes, I carried that… ALL of it.

    So that should explain I believe. Although I am painfully aware that my kids will only learn to swim when they actually get to be in the water and only once they swim, the Badi experience will be more enjoyable for the parent involved, it’s a vicious circle guys!!!!

  • Tied very closely to 1.: The re-emergence of me in a bikini, something which last happened when I was pregnant with Mimi 1 so about 4 (!!!) years ago. Not entirely sure if that is a good thing for people watching, but you know what? I decided to not care about what people think that much anymore. I have spent already too many years of my life worrying about “what people think”, and I still do it way too often, so if it’s me in a bikini, it’s just me in a bikini and that’s that. Really, I think this world has much bigger worries than that. Full stop. (and no, no Pictures here, I am still working on that one!)

Eco-Sins

  • A giant baby pool in our garden which almost flooded the grass in the evenings. I think the bugs and ants must have started to think it was monsoon time in India… And I’m quite sure that in our absence they did fire-drills on how to evacuate the lawn in case of an emergency. Plus my conscience went hiding under the covers every time we emptied those litres upon litres of water in the evening. Is there any Co2 compensation available for that?
    Summer2017_Gardenpool

    See, if you’ve got this, you don’t really need to go anywhere else, right? Right?

     

    An actual Holiday abroad

  • A great Holiday in the UK again. Since this was probably the main attraction this summer, I am going to spend some lines on it. We were in Devon again, meeting our dear friends with kids, enjoying beach life all the while I was gathering courage to not wear a jumper at the beach.
    Beachlife_Mimi2

    Dresscode has to be Jumper, shorts and no shoes (or Flipflops). That’s summer in Britain for you. Beach is lovely though!!

    BeachlifeBoth

  • Mimi 1 going “Surfing”. Unfortunately I failed to take a photo of her in her wetsuit, but I assure you she looked adorable. And also, she seemed to really like the sea and lying on the bodyboard, being pulled through the waves. I wish you saw how proud Twomimidad was of his badass daughter. I could just tell that he was actually waiting and acheing to buy her a totally overpriced wetsuit. But that look was entirely worth it. Mimi 2 was put in a borrowed wetsuit for a test only, and she hated it so much, she started crying “noooo” every time we simply mentioned it. So she was left in peace and played in the sand very happily.

City life

  • We got to show London to the Mimis which I absolutely loved.
    London_CoventGarden

    Covent Garden, totally rocking the sparkling shoes.

    Of course it helped that weather was brilliant almost every day (I have never before actually worn a short dress and open shoes in London!!!). If you’re interested in what we actually did in London, check out my Instagram account where I gave a short summary every day.

    All I can say is: London with kids is totally great. It also helped that our Airbnb flat was located in St. John’s Wood, a part of the city I hadn’t previously ever visited but which was great for being with kids. It is, of course, a location which is utterly inaffordable for normal mortals but hey, that’s why you go on Holidays! It offered a nearby park with a great playground, a cute highstreet with a great selection of child-friendly restaurants and even some quiet roads where Mimi 1 could practice her biking skills plus a direct bus to Oxford Street and Covent Garden.

    London_Southbank.jpg

    Spending a day at the South Bank was one of the unexpectedly great experiences.

     

    London_Zoo_boat.jpg

    That’s London Zoo with some added non-animal related cuteness.

    I think back to that time with a smile still. The only thing I would change in hindsight is to bring a proper pram, not just the crappy travelbuggy. You walk a lot in a city and it would have been much easier with our Bugaboo… and it might have saved Twomimidad getting a really bad spell of his hip ache which would have made me much less angry at him for having left his medicine at home. But apart from that, it was AWESOME and we’d do it again in a heartbeat.

Proud parenting moment

  • And the best thing was when we asked the kids if they had liked the beach or the city better and they said “both”. These are our kids. Makes me so happy for the Holidays ahead. They are really up for the ride and they did equally great on the plane as in the car. Thanks Mimis!!! 
    London_Flight

    She’s looking like a pro already. And since screentime at home is so limited, having lots of it at your hands is a huge thumbs up for flying…

    Riding that bike!

  • Mimi 1 got the hang of biking! To be honest I didn’t even think about when kids start to bike, but she got quite interested in it this summer and especially Twomimidad shows insane amounts of patience with such things (thanks TMD!!!). So really, by the time we got back Mimi 1 actually started riding off on her own. I was -am- so proud!!! And so was she, obviously, she had a huge grin on her face.

    Me-week, the short version

  • Oh – almost forgot- I had a whole week to myself in the Engadin. And you know what? it was way less transforming than I thought it would be. In a good way. I started off with the drive to Schuol and a hike to the Lischanahütte where I stayed for the night. The plan was to then hike to Sesvennahütte via the Fuorcla d’Aua and Passo Sesvenna for another night and then all the way back the day after. That was the plan. After a crappy first night in the cabin, I hiked to Fuorcla d’Aua and about a third down my legs just could not take it anymore.
  • FuorclaDAua.jpg

    This is where I hit rock-bottom. Quite literally.

    They weren’t hurting, but they just weren’t holding me up properly . It was a very strange feeling for me not being able to control them the way I’m used to anymore. So gingerly, gingerly I made my way down in babysteps. It really was about the same speed as if Mimi 2 were with me, that was as fast as I could go. So I went down all the way to S-Charl, called the Hotel and told them I would come one day early. After a nice lunch in S-Charl and a Postauto ride (I really had to do my best not to fall out of the Postauto when I climbed out at the stop) I drove to Pontresina and “home” to the Hotel Saratz. And there I stayed for the rest of the week.

    BellavistaSelfie

    The mandatory selfie with Piz Palü backdrop

    It was thoroughly un-spectacular in a very soothing way. I feel at home there and I did not do much apart from going to Alp Languard innumerable times, doing some hikes, read a lot (!!!) everywhere, going to the Sauna and having nice dinners with a beautiful view. I had a really good time just by myself and realised that I haven’t changed as much as I’d thought I had. I’m still totally ok to be by myself. I didn’t miss the Mimis. I missed my husband a couple of times, especially when having an Aperitif on the beautiful terrace, but that’s a good thing. It shows I care and I really just like being together with him. And that was that. Thoroughly un-spectacular.

    SaratzDinnerview

    Dinnertime view

    The takeaways from my time to myself

  • What I have learnt from my week alone, and especially from my forced plan-change is that I will, more than ever, have to learn patience. Patience, first and foremost with myself. I will not be able to do it all at once. I will do “it” (whatever it might be at that point in my life), but one step at a time. I would love to do an MBA, and get a new, more challenging job and do more crafts with the Mimis, and learn them how to swim, and travel the world, and spend time with TMD alone but I cannot have it all at once. I will have to allow myself time for things to happen. Good things. Maybe different things than I had planned for, but the Universe will eventually help me along for sure. I know that right now I’m in a good place and I do not want to spend more time away from the Mimis than what I do now. So I will not be able to focus on studies on top of my job, that would just break me. Also, if I decide to take something extra on, it should be something extra just for me. Such as probably one Yoga class more per week, or a really cool seminar on digital marketing, or more blog-writing, or whatever I feel fills me up with joy. I am usually just too tired for everything by the end of a day so I just collapse in front of the TV, but eventually this has to change somewhat. Else I will end up empty of passions (apart from the Mimis, who are the passion of my life, for obvious reasons) and passions are what we are made of, they are the glow from within, and I need to replenish that. I want to glow more, become more full of different things again, so let that journey begin. In babysteps, let’s just do babysteps since, eventually, they will bring you where you want to be, in one piece.

 

June 29, 2017 Image

Figuring out the Me Week

My husband (aka Twomimidad i.e. TMD) and me have made an arrangement that we both are allowed one week of “solo holidaying” when Mimi #1 was born. Actually, we already had this agreement before the Mimis, but, as with so many of our old habits, we had to re-evaluate that rule as well and came to the conclusion that we wanted to keep that custom.

In the pre-Mimi-era this usually meant that he went flying his models (no, he’s not throwing Heidi Klum off a cliff, I’m talking about radio controlled gliders (Segelflugzeuge to my German speaking friends))  somewhere in Europe for a week, usually combined with a competition, and I went to the mountains. I had been going to the mountains a lot when I still was at Uni, before I met my TMD, and I was resolved to keep that up since the mountains have always been my kind of sanctuary.

 

PizPalü2 (2)

I was up there, right in the middle, a loong time ago. Thought still makes me smile.

 

Pre-Mimi vs. Post-Mimi-Me

However, when the Mimis were here, it was a different story. I’m not going to give a speech on how much children change your life, let’s just say they do. And a lot of what formerly was a big part of your life will just take a backseat. You can probably have a say in the prioritising but a lot of your old habits just have to give. Full stop.  Also, I’m not going to pretend that I was really fit before I got pregnant the first time but I was still fit enough to get prepared for the mountains in 2-3 months leading up to “my” week.

The four burners model

Now, at the moment, this is not the case. If you’re following me on Facebook you probably have read about the 4 burners theory, and how I was sharing that “health” (i.e. fitness) is currently the burner just barely burning at all. Which is partly due to the busy life and my own priorities where I usually chose to be with the kids or have lunch with my workmates above going for a run or a swim (i.e. I chose “friends” and “Family” above “health”). Now you could blame me for that, and believe me, sometimes I do myself, but in the end I decide to prioritise what makes me happiest. Though, probably, a bit more of the “health” bit wouldn’t hurt in all honesty. It partly is also due to the fact that I am a lazy person. Really lazy. I’m talking proper couch potatoe here. So I’m just going to say that my participation in the Gigathlon this year will be a bit of a stretch (just the Swimming!!!)

Spoilt for choice, really

So this year, for the first time in basically 4+ years when I’m not pregnant or have a small baby, I’m going to get have my “me-week” back. TMD already took his by going to the Lofotes (Norway) in June to -yes you guessed that right- do some flying with his friends. So in the months and weeks leading up to now I had thought that what I craved for would be a Yoga retreat somewhere at the beach in the mediterranean (I do Yoga once a week regularly, the only thing I’ve managed to keep up through everything and which has truly saved my sanity and my back with the lugging around of the children).

 

TheseThree

The one thing I do know is that These Three will be absolutely fine without me for a week!

 

I always end up at the same place – so there’s probably a reason behind?

As you have probably gathered from my Instagram feed (that’s by the way the best way to keep up if your so inclined, since I blog very irregularly) we have been to the Engadin in June. And also I have been to Wengen (Berner Oberland) with work last week. And I suddenly realised that the mountains are calling me again. I hadn’t heard them for a while since I was probably so busy with the babies. Also, since I was probably giving myself so little space for “me” when I actually was there in the mountains. Because that’s just what happens when you have babies, your “me” suddenly shrinks into a very small space inside of you. Best you can do is to make sure to check on it from time to time so as to not let it die because, the older the children get, the more space you will get again for your “me”. Just in the way that I mostly can now take a shower when both Mimis are awake without having to hop out dripping with shampooed hair (though I did that just last Wednesday, so I’m not completely there yet!). Or in the way that, slowly, you feel less bad leaving your husband or your Mom alone with the kids for a longer period of time. Such is the blessing of the babies becoming children. Now, I know the Mimis will need me, a lot, for a very long time still. But the immediacy, the urgency with which you ALWAYS have to be right next to them slowly evolves into something a bit more relaxed. And thank God for that since I wouldn’t be able to keep up that level of service forever!!!

Beach vs. Mountains

So while researching on Yoga retreats at a beach, I realised that what has been always my personal kind of meditation are the mountains. The days of walking. The listening to the trickle of glaciers and how they grow quiet in the night when everything freezes again. Walking off when it’s still dark and seeing the sun come up on the mountain tops.

 

PizLanguardView

Feels like flying, doesn’t it? (View from Piz Languard)

 

I’d like a five star Hotel up the mountain please. Oh, and I’d like to be the only guest too…

So there will be some mountains in my “me-week” this year. Though to what extent I am not entirely sure yet for various reasons. First, my un-fitness which will make more demanding routes unpleasurable. Second, my resolve to not stress myself out during that week. And with that the wish to get a nice, comfy bed without people snoring next to me such as is the case in mountain lodges (SAC Hütten). Third, my feeling that I just don’t want to talk to a lot of people during some days which sort of excludes going on a tour as I used to, with a bunch of strangers and a mountain guide. I have to talk so much EVERY day at the moment that not having to talk is what I’m aiming for.

Talking about being spoilt for choice

So we will see where this leads me to. I believe it will be a combination of long-ish hikes to a lodge followed by some nights in a nice Hotel with a good SPA, great views and a comfy room where I can read a book in peace or just stare out of the window. Or write a random blogpost about life (and not about kids). I have no idea how that turns out. I have no idea if I still have the ability to just be by myself for days on end (something which I used to love and celebrate). All I know is that I feel I’m on the way to rediscovering a piece of me which I thought I had lost, and that alone is worth taking that leap of faith. And I know I am so lucky to be able to have a whole week to myself to just do as I please. That’s, in itself, the biggest blessing of all.

April 21, 2017

The Gift of the Now

I have one day per week which is “Mama-Tag” where I don’t work. Well I do “work” but not in the office obviously. I mean, anybody who tells me I was taking my day “off” when I’m with the Mimis is met with my incredulous stare.

But I’m getting distracted here, so the point I’m trying to make is that on this particular day of the week, I hardly even look at my mobile phone. Or think about my life. Or think in general. Apart from when the Mimis are taking their nap (a fact for which I’m still very grateful). It is not hard at all to “not be online” on that day. It feels completely natural because I do not really get the chance to be off, in the sense of “not to be present”.

The Mimis, and kids in general just do not tolerate absent-mindedness. Of course with small kids everybody knows you cannot be too far away physically, but also they will not tolerate you being absent emotionally. They draw you to the present with so much power that you will not be able to withstand. You have to be THERE with everything you are, with your body, soul and spirit. And this is a gift.

Kids of course are the true masters of presence. A sort of your personal Obi Wan to teach you how to just “be”. If you watch kids playing (which I could do for hours), they can get completely absorbed in it. And very happily so. They are in a good place and they are just there with everything they are.

 

Now2

“If we’re IN the puddle it’s almost as if we ARE the puddle, right?”

 

I think that I am getting worse at focusing on one task for a longer period of time as I grow older (or just more tired?). Just because, at the office, there’s always new e-mails, chat requests or calls coming in, interrupting me. So I have grown unaccustomed to concentration for a lengthy period of time. And also, since my life is just so full of things to do I find it difficult to stop rattling down my “to-do-list” in my mind whenever there’s a chance.

 

Now3

If only I was this concentrated at work …

 

But on Mama-Day I usually do not have a chance to do any of these things. I have to be there with my whole being, because anything less will not be enough to the Mimis. (well, sometimes actually I should be there twice because they both want ALL of me and those are the moments when I usually just want to run and hide, but that’s another story). It draws your mind and your body together to this moment at hand and this makes you, for a short time, a whole and present person. And this to me is one of the greatest gifts and teachings of parenthood.

March 20, 2017

Gleichberechtigung in Sicht?

Achtung, es wird hier mal wieder politisch und zwar in die emanzipierte Richtung! Nach dem ich es doch noch geschafft habe, den DOK Film zum Thema Familienmodelle zu schauen.

Der DOK Film portraitiert drei verschiedene Familienmodelle: Einmal das Modell “Frau-ist-zu-Hause-und-Mann-arbeitet-100%”. Einmal das heute am weitesten verbreitete Modell “Frau-arbeitet-Teilzeit (40%)-und-Mann-100%” und einmal “unser” Modell von “beide-arbeiten-80%”. Es wählen satte eines von 20 (20!!!) Paaren das Modell “beide arbeiten gleich viel.”

Muss das wirklich sein?

Naja, es gibt Tage, oder Wochen, in denen verstehe ich durchaus den Vorteil von “einer (also die Frau) bleibt zu hause”. Weil hei- manchmal ist es einfach supersuper anstrengend. Und stressig. Und manchmal habe auch ich das Gefühl, dass von allen Ecken an mir rumgezerrt wird. Bei Kindern ist das “Rumzerren” ja genetisch eingebaut, auch völlig ok, aber manchmal, grad auch für einen Menschen mit einem ausgeprägten Bedürfnis nach Alleinsein, ists doch eher über der Schmerzgrenze (echt nur manchmal!!). Und dann fallen meine nervlichen Seidenfaden-Phasen zuverlässig auch mit Stressphasen im Job zusammen. Und schlechten Nächten. Und dann denk’ ich mir schon: müssen wir uns das echt geben? Ists das wert? Weil Ende des Monats bleibt mit unserem Setup, trotz ok Löhnen, nichts liegen zum Sparen, Krippe sei dank. Und das obwohl wir uns ja Mühe geben und uns an allen Fronten den Allerwertesten aufreissen. Oder es zumindest versuchen. Und wenn dann eines Abends sogar der Mann kommt und meint “hast du auch das Gefühl, dass Dein Leben im Moment auf der Strecke bleibt”, dann macht mich das etwas besorgt.

Hauptsache alles sieht so easy aus…

Es war ein harter Winter, nicht nur weil er kalt war, sondern auch weil, wie’s halt so ist, die Kinder öfter krank waren, und dieses Jahr auch der Mann. Was zur Folge hat, dass in diesen Phasen die Belastung massiv zunimmt. Was man sich an der Arbeit ja aber um Himmels Willen nicht anmerken lassen will. Man will ja den Job, und darin ernstgenommen werden. Vor nichts fürchte ich mich sosehr, wie einfach in die “Mami-Ecke” gestellt zu werden. Weil das in einer Firma mit vielen Männern in traditionellen Modellen den gesellschaftlichen Tod bedeutet. Glaube ich zumindest. Und gleichzeitig möchte ich all denen manchmal ins Gesicht sagen, dass sie echt KEINE Ahnung haben, was ihre Frauen zu Hause leisten. Sofern nicht BEIDE ihren Teil übernehmen, und nicht BEIDE erfahren, was es heisst, zwei Kinder, im Winter in die Kita zu bringen und dann pünktlich an der Arbeit zu erscheinen, und dann das Ganze in umgekehrter Reihenfolge am Abend nochmals, so lange kann ich mit Vorgesetzten gewisse Teile meines Lebens einfach nicht besprechen. Und vielleicht ist das ja ok so. Weil mein Chef muss ja auch nicht alles wissen. Aber manchmal wäre es echt schön, wenn man das Gefühl bekäme, dass man etwas leistet wenn man einen “OK” Job macht an der Arbeit und gleichzeitig zu Hause auch seinen Teil mitträgt. Als Mann oder als Frau, und als Teil der Gesellschaft. Weil das alles irgendwie halbwegs unter Kontrolle zu behalten, ist manchmal schon fast mehr, als man hinkriegt.

Was brauchts, damit sich etwas ändert?

Ich bin der festen Überzeugung, dass sich erst dann etwas ändern wird, wenn es Chefs gibt (auch Chefinnen) , welche in vorgesetzter Funktion Teilzeit arbeiten (auch wenn halt nur von 70% aufwärts). Weil sich erst dann etwas in der Firmenkultur ändern wird. Solange das nicht der Fall ist, werden wir Teilzeitler uns weiter bemühen, total cool zu sein und den Eindruck  zu erwecken, dass wir den ganzen Laden easy schmeissen. Eigentlich traurig.

Und das alles schreibe ich jetzt nur, weil wir in den Ferien sind und ich mal wieder tief drin was posten wollte. Die letzten 3-4 Wochen war mein Hirn am Abend jeweils nur noch Brei. Aber jetzt kommts gut weil -jaja- der Frühling ist da!

 

 

February 13, 2017

Universe vs. Parents – the Game is on

When at School we were told that the universe strives for chaos (so called Entropy). What we weren’t told then is that so will your children.

When your toddler first starts to be mobile, you notice that suddenly those toys are spreading in the ever widening crawling radious of you baby, which is now a toddler. So far so good. Even when looking at Mimi #2 who is now 1.5 years old, it seems that the way she plays makes a somewhat contained mess. Which is why I have to confess that I was not prepared for what followed when Mimi #1 turned three last month and we visited a friend with a boy the same age as Mimi #1. It was the first time we have actually felt the need to clean up my friends’ house before we left, just to make sure we could enter that home of hers again in the not too distant future. And, as it is, her child (a boy the exact same age as Mimi #1) had never before managed to achieve the level devastation my offspring brought upon her in 1 hour of playing.

Joining the Team.

Mimi #1 suddenly seems to have joined team Universe in it’s mission for total chaos. Her mess-making abilities are superior to others (unfortunately it seems that this is not a skill in kids which parents can boast of). Fact is, she has developed the destructive force of a medium sized Tornado when kept indoors. Her ability to create Entropy is actually quite impressive, and quite unnerving:

clothesmess-2

Exhibit a.) this is what happens if Mimi #1 is keeping herself busy for five minutes

 

 

legomess

Exhibit b.) playing Lego includes spreading them at least throughout the room. Though admittedly you can’t find the right ones when they’re in the box… hm.

Another reason to eagerly long for spring: the water games.

Honestly, if we’re at home for more than 2 hours, I can guarantee that we will have to change the clothes of at least one Mimi on the grounds of waterplay when we’re either cooking, or taking a shower, or maybe just brushing our teeth. In fact, sometimes I silently sneak upstairs to brush my teeth secretly and silently just so nobody thinks of “the water”. I know it’s developmentally totally beneficial to do this but GOD sometimes it is annoying. Just can’t wait for summer when the kids can play outside to their hearts content, slowly turning our backyard into a swamp.

watermess.jpg

Doing some proper grown-up stuff.

So some of Mimi#1’s latest achievements have made us as parents realise that we will finally have to do some active education on the concept of “cleaning up” for the sake of our future co-habitation. Something we had silently agreed on skipping so far, probably, to be honest, out of sheer parenting lazyness. And also because we consider ourselves to have quite a laid-back approach to the concept of “a mess”. However, we have reached a stage where even we came to this decision on the grounds of there being a noticeable difference between a baby spreading out the toys (adorable) and a toddler voluntarily raging through the cupboards with an intention (helping team Universe score some bonus points perhaps?).

outdoormess

This is one of he instances where, even if she’s not a baby anymore, the glee on her face is adorable. So telling her off for that becomes quite impossible.

 

So this then is it, this is where we will have our first trial of getting Mimi #1 to do something she doesn’t want to do (and -in fact- trying to throw the Universe a curveball). Sucker for facts that I am, I have of course consulted some books (well, actually just one parenting-book to be honest…) and talked to a mom-friend on when to start doing this (turns out we’re probably already late).

Helpful and not-so-helpful advice.

The book told me to make cleaning into a fun game (HAHA), at which I’m so far only half successful. Mimi #1 ist not really impressed but at least me suggesting things like “you take all the red Lego and I’ll put all the green Lego in the box” makes it more interesting for me. And also telling her exactly what we have to do, replacing the abstract concept of “clean up the mess” with a concrete action like “we will put the playmobile figures now back into that box” etc. only work sporadically.

A glimpse into the family future.

It’s a struggle, but I cannot face the future with a human who will just drop everything wherever she feels like it and having somebody else clean it up all the time ( I will settle for 99% of the time for now, as, you know, the Universe…). It’s fair enough for us as parents to be doing this for our kids for a while, but ultimately we want our family to be a place where everybody, including the parents, feel good. It will not become an utter dictatorship of the kids.

Empathy is what it comes down to.

What I want to achieve most importantly though is for her to grasp the concept that eventually somebody will have to do it for her if she doesn’t. And I know that’s probably asking too much of a three-year-old, which is why we only do very short bouts of cleaning up. But I am really adamant that she’ll help. Hoping it will get more of a routine soon. And also -silently- hoping that it will tame her destructive force somewhat (i.e. that she help me contend against the Universe, probably that’s unfair??)

Practical advice, anyone?

Do you have any advice on how to get them to grasp the cleaning-up concept and making it into a part of your daily routine at home? Do you threaten them to hoover everything up if they don’t help (something which seems to work quite well actually, but which I find slightly un-cooperative)? I would be really glad for some advice (in German or English) in the comments below. I suspect this will not get any easier for sure (and remembering how I was as a kid, I probably should have stayed right there with team Universe!)

P.S: I know that being happy in a mess is far superior to being unhappy but tidy!!!

 

 

January 24, 2017

Businessideen fürs Familienidyll

Wie im vorletzten Post beschrieben, dauern Projekte in unserem Haushalt etwas 100x länger seit wir bekindert sind. Und dies ist etwa 99x länger als ich das mag. Eigentlich. Und ohne mich beklagen zu wollen, muss ich ganz sachlich feststellen, dass wirs schneller irgendwie einfach nicht hinkriegen. Zwischen Mimis und Arbeit und Alltag und unserer Grundfaulheit, liegt irgendwie einfach nicht wahnsinnig viel drin.

Und eben gerade weil die Zeit, über die wir frei verfügen können, Mangelware ist, sind wir wohl so schlecht darin, dann noch zu tun was wir sollten, gegenüber dem, was wir wollen.

Outsourcing, für einmal die Lösung (ohne Schuldgefühle)

Lange Rede kurzer Sinn, ich sähe hier enormes Potential für neue Geschäftsfelder von so hippen jungen Unternehmern (mit Bart oder ohne). Nämlich ein Service zur Entlastung von Eltern die’s irgendwie zeitmässig einfach nicht hinkommen mit den Projekten. Und während ich das schreibe, hat der Zwingli (respektive “Huldrycha”, wie TMD das getauft hat) in mir schon wieder das Gefühl, mich dafür rechtfertigen zu müssen. Mich dafür rechtfertigen zu müssen, dass wir am Feierabend eher etwas mit dem Internet und dem TV unternehmen als uns diszipliniert der Wohnung zu widmen. Oder dem Keller. Oder den Kleidern. Dem Küchenschrank. Der Mimi-Fuhrpark-Garage. Dem Urlaubsresearch. Den Schwimmkursanmeldungen.

Naturgemäss gibt es Dinge, die einem niemand abnehmen kann, und das ist auch ok so. Ich werde, irgendwann die Fotoalben für die Mimis fertigbekommen. Ganz bestimmt. Wenn ich denn meinen Antrieb wiederfinde, der sich gefühlt irgendwo zwischen Weihnachten und Neujahr schlafen gelegt hat, und der sich erst gaaaanz schläfrig etwas regt. Und den Küchenschrank räume ich dann wieder auf, wenn die Mimis die Ausräumphase beendet haben. So ca. in drölfzig Jahren also. Aber dann gibt es Bereiche, die ich sehr gerne outsourcen würde. Leider ist meine Suche danach via Google für die Schweiz bislang ergebnislos geblieben. Was natürlich blöd ist, mir aber andererseits Grund für diesen Beitrag gibt.

Vielleicht gibt es jemanden da draussen?

Und ich hoffe nun, dass irgendjemand von euch da draussen jemanden kennt, der jemanden kennt, der genau so was macht. Oder machen würde. Weil ich versichere euch, wir sind bestimmt nicht die Einzigen, die damit kämpfen.

  • Kleideraussortier und auf Ricardo-Stelldienst. Die Zeit die dafür drauf geht, die Kleidung der Mimis auszusortieren und einzulagern (von Mimi 1 zu Mimi 2), oder weiterzugeben (für Mimi 2) ist nicht etwas, das ich gerne (oder sonderlich gut) mache. Ins gleiche Kapitel würde dann auch die Inventarisierung geschenkter Kleidung, oder Spielsachen kommen, welche noch nicht altersgerecht sind und die man tendiert zu vergessen und erst wieder findet, wenn mans schon neu gekauft hat (hello Babybrain).
  • Dito für Spielzeug, am besten mit Knowhow darüber, welche Spielzeuge altersgerecht sind.
  • Jemanden der in näherer Zukunft bereit wäre, unsere IT kindersicher zu machen, altersgerechte Apps downloaded und gegebenenfalls auch Geräte installiert. Und diesen Prozess so ca. jedes halbe Jahr wiederholt. Nicht dass wir das nicht irgendwie könnten, aber ich bin überzeugt, dass jemand geübteres das viel schneller und besser hinkriegt.
  • Und noch der sprichwörtliche Elefant im Wohnzimmer: die Wohnung. Also vor allem dem Kinderteil der Wohnung. Und wie der zum Rest passt, so dass wir Platz für alle haben und sich alle wohlfühlen. Damits schön aussieht (für die Eltern) Stauraum hat und maximal bespielbar ist für die Mimis. Und mitwächst. Da sich die Bedürfnisse ja ständig verändern, und wir als Mimi-Eltern irgendwie beständig den Bedürfnissen hinterherhecheln. TMD und ich mögen schöne Dinge. Und ursprünglich mal haben wir gesagt, dass unsere Wohnung unsere Wohnung bleiben soll und nicht von Kinderspielzug überflutet werden soll. (jaja, ich hör’ euch lachen, danke! Wir wissen jetzt auch dass das komplett hoffnungslos ist, aber die Erfahrung muss man ja auch erst machen). Meine Wohnung muss nicht das pastellige Instagram-Idyll sein, das überall herumgeistert. Aber schön. Und praktisch. Und HILFE bitte!!! Wir haben keine Zeit, um uns stundenlang mit der Suche nach der richtigen Lösung, dann der Beschaffung und der Installation zu beschäftigen, nur um dann herauszufinden, dass es doch nicht passt. Been there, it’s not working. Und unserer Wohnung ist nicht riesig, deshalb wären echt kreative und massgeschneiderte Lösungen gefragt.

Und um euch die Dringlichkeit der Hilfe im Wohnungsproblem etwas zu illustrieren, hier eine ungeschminkte Sicht auf die Situation (und ich habe dafür nicht extra aufgeräumt, ihr bekommt also die volle Dröhnung, sorry). Ich werde dann selbstverständlich in den nächsten Posts wieder versuchen darauf zu achten, dass alles Instagram-mässig supi im richtigen Winkel aufgenommen wird. Damit das Chaos verborgen bleibt und euch  nicht weiter optisch belästigt. Aber manchmal muss es halt die Wahrheit sein, und die tut nun mal weh.

 

baustellen

Von links im Uhrzeigersinn: Baustelle Wohnzimmer, hier eine Idee für die Kinderecke gesucht, gemütlich, hübsch und bespielbar. Oben rechts: Baustelle Büro/Spielzimmer, hier Regalsystem nötig. Unten rechts das Küchenprojekt, die “Bar” soll ersetzt werden durch ein Buffet mit ausklappbarem Brett für mehr Arbeitsfläche.

 

Also ich hoffe ich habe bewiesen, dass Hilfe nötig wäre. Und wir würden selbstverständlich, für den Service zu bezahlen, wenn auch nicht fürstlich, da wir nach wie vor nicht an der Goldküste wohnen. Für Tipps und Kontakte bin ich jederzeit unglaublich dankbar. Achja, und falls ihr damit nicht dienen könnt, gerne auch für Berichte wie’s bei euch zu Hause so läuft und wie ihr das Chaos bewältigt.

Bis dahin grüsse ich euch zwar nicht aufgeräumt, aber zufrieden aus der Projektbaustelle.

P.S: wenn ihrs noch nicht tut, folgt mir auf Facebook und abonniert meinen Newsletter (Button oben rechts) damit ihr jeweils die neusen Posts -ruckzuck- bei euch in der Mailbox findet.

Ahja, und auf Instagram bin ich auch noch zu finden.

 

January 16, 2017

Take a break instead of make or brake

You might ask yourselves if I’ve given up writing this blog altogether. Or, where the hell I’ve been these almost four weeks since I last published. Or you might not have noticed at all, which is absolutely fine by me.

Truth is, I just couldn’t bring myself to do it. I have two unfinished post in draft stage. I have plenty of pictures on my phone which I’ve taken for some posts. But bringing it all together just wasn’t in me so far in 2017. I jokingly say that my drive is still stuck in 2016 and I fear that might be far too true. Kids have been sick. Kids have not been sleeping well (something we’re not used to). Mimi #1 particularly has decided to understand the true meaning of “terrible twos” just 2 weeks before her third birthday and truly has been living up to them. Work has been difficult for me, so it somehow all has been a bit much lately.

Step by step, I’m trying to regain some speed. Though not as much speed as I had before Christmas because, frankly, that was just ridiculous. And it wasn’t me. Because I don’t like to run around like a headless chicken. I like to at least give the moment a chance to be appreciated. And I also want some lazy time back to myself. And that involves watching quite a lot of interior design shows such as “Restoration Man” and “Interior Design Challenge”. Which somehow is ironic, because this is exactly an area we struggle with on a daily basis and which is subject of one of my unfinished posts, to follow soon…

 

mimis_tischbau_pause-2

Taking a break whilst improving interior desing, how’s that for a lesson?

 

So what I want to state here quite clearly is that “having it all” is very much impossible 99.9% of the time. And sometimes trying to is such I stretch that I have to take a break from it. And I will stop feeling bad about that because I don’t want to spoil my lazy time by that. There are so many things I’m interested in, so many things I would like to learn more about or spend more time on (Yoga! Friends! Books! Lying at the beach!), but everything is always a trade of.

The rule of the three

My life mainly consists of my kids and my work and then, in my opinion, there’s “only” space for something third in this. And I am rotating between: relationship, myself, or sports. Those three things alternate and I try to keep them even which isn’t always easy. But it will, for some time, stay this way so it is a case of “hanging in there” more than actively chose. Hang in there I will, but at the same time I will try not to get so stressed out about it.

Life is not about arriving, but about enjoying the ride

 

coldbum-2

TMD and me: “What are you doing”? Mimi #1: “waiting for my bum to go cold”.

 

I don’t want to always look forward to a point in the future where everything will get “easier” or less stressful. I don’t only want to live toward our next holiday (though I love looking forward to it – hello Engadin in March!). I want to just be here and get as much out of it as I can. Something which is much easier when you have kids, because they have a way of, sometimes painfully, nailing you to the present. Daydreaming and fantasising have pretty much left me for the time, and even if I miss this, there’s something good in it. It tells me to appreciate what we have and are now. Who knows how tomorrow will be (though I’m hoping tomorrow will be much less snotty with Mimi #2…)?

So, just to let you know, I have no idea when my next post will appear, but I’m hoping a.) soon and b.) it will help me to get some of our 3000 ever-pending projects sorted!

Take care and enjoy the ride!

P.S: If you haven’t done so yet, subscribe to my blog via the button top right, or like this post on facebook, follow me on facebook, and of course share to your hearts content with all your great friends.

 

 

 

 

January 2, 2017

Warum?

So yes, this is where we are too… feels like my brain is slowly but surely evaporising.

DieGespräche mit meinem Sohn (soeben3) haben massiv an Tiefgründigkeit zugelegt. Vor allem deswegen, weil er bei jeder sich bietenden Gelegenheit sein aktuelles Lieblingswort «Warum?» einbringt.

Was soviel bedeutet wie: Wir reden nonstop miteinander. Warum, eine Frage, die immer geht. Immer. Immer!

Warum heisst die Person so? Warum wohnt sie da? Warum machst du das? Warum ist das so? Warum nicht? Und – die süsseste aller Warum-Fragen: «Mama, warum mache ich das so?»

Inzwischen habe ich meine Komfort-Zone verlassen und rede deutlich mehr als 16’215 Worte pro Tag. Davon ist nicht nur die Zunge angeschwollen, sondern auch mein Hirn, welches empfindlich gegen die Schädeldecke drückt.Die Welt in ihrer ganzen Komplexität kindgerecht reduziert wiederzugeben, ist zuweilen gar nicht so einfach.

Ausserdem kann ich nicht, wie ich feststellen musste, nonstop Fragen beantworten. Ich brauche Zeit zum Nachdenken und vor allem zum Nicht-Denken. Einfach mal rasch in Ruhe aufs Klo?

«Mama, warum gehst du…

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December 19, 2016

The state of me and the blog 5 months on

It is now about five months ago, since I have fallen line, hook and sinker for the social media adventure which has led to this blog. I am still immensely enjoying writing, though I wish I could somehow find time to post more frequently (I have just missed one week now, because life pre-xmas is frantic), and I wish I could finally come up with a method to note down the ideas I have for posts while driving.

Also I have become rather addicted to Instagram. My addiction to Instagram is something I wouldn’t really have thought possible since I considered myself quite immune to the fascination of Social Media (yes, you may laugh at me at this point). And I thought I wasn’t that interested in strange peoples’ lives on Social Media.

Turns out I’m a nosy Mom

Which, actually, I’m still not, UNLESS this other person has kids. (Which again tells me that having kids certainly has changed a part of me. The Mom-part which I’m still discovering, even after three years and two kids.) Since Mimi #1 was born, I have fallen into the habit of “momparing” (mom-comparing, yup, I just made this up). And I believe a lot of mothers are doing this. Let me assure you, this has nothing to do with proving that I am superior or inferior to other Moms, or jealousy at their life. It is the fact that you find yourself unable to stop comparing your kids to other kids and your situation to other Mom’s lives, all wrapped into the endeavour to do the best for your family. It is somehow like trying on a different wardrobe just to make sure that what you’re wearing is actually what suits you and what you feel comfortable in. A way to make sure your current situation is ok the way it is. And – of course- to ascertain the known fact that your kids are the best, smartest, happiest etc…. Because however you compare your kids, that will inevitably be the outcome, which is exactly as it should be for every parent.

Someone must be making things up here, right?

But I have also discovered on Instagram that there’s one area where I do not compare and which frankly makes me a wee bit worried. This worry has started to become more accentuated with the rapidly approaching Christmas. It is the field of crafts, cookie-baking and general Instagram-worthy creativity, outfittery and interior design. I am still blown away by how many profiles abound with pictures of perfectly baked goods, perfectly designed appartments, perfectly wrapped gifts and perfectly dressed Moms. Not to mention their makeup and hair. How??? How do they do that? They must either be superwomen (which I secretly suspect), or terribly rich with an army of stylists and nannies to make this work (nope, don’t think so for most of them). Or they must be very selective when posting pictures and spending a lot of time on the perfect setup. This is something I a.) do not have and b.) contradicts what I am searching for in Social Media: the possibility to find like-minded people (yep, we’re talking about the filter bubble issue here). Because I would so love to see I’m not alone in this.

 

tmm_baking

This is about as far as I could go with the X-mas cookies: pre-made pastry, lot’s of sprinkles and icing.

 

Let me be honest here

Which is why I have decided to share, via this blog and probably even more so via Instagram, what’s really going on in our crazy house. What I want is to share some of the things that (mostly) make me laugh for all different reasons. Because, quite often, laughing is what saves me in moments where only yelling or crying would be the other option with the effect of making things far worse than they actually are. And I’d love to share those laughs and get some in return. I would like to ascertain that my growing feeling that I’m losing my mind is not just me losing my mind, but is a normal stage when living with two short dictators small kids . Parents do not have time to finish ONE SINGLE thought. I have, in fact, started losing clothes in random places, something which hasn’t happened to me since primary school. And, as you’ve also seen on my Instagram feed, we have become shoplifters.

There are so many people who show me perfectly staged moments, but this is not what I feel like. And it certainly isn’t what my life feels like.

My life feels like a highspeed race with only drunk drivers in cars without any ABS and airbags on a dark road nobody has driven on before.

Most days we’re just winging it, trying desperately not to drop too many balls. And I know (or at least I hope) that this is normal. Normal if you’re trying to have a job and kids and a relationship (and probably just as normal, if you’re at home full-time, since this comes with a whole set of expectations too). It can’t be just our apartment that – if you’re not having oodles of space, but probably even then- looks like the site where a small hurricane regularly passes through every 20 minutes.

 

beforeandafter

5 minutes lie between these two states of our lounge. And unfortunaley the events didn’t unfold in the order the pictures have been placed here.

 

It can’t be just us that have at least five constantly pending urgent projects towards the improvement of our household of which we manage to cross off about one every 4 months? (how hard can it be to find and buy a new kitchen table? Answer: bloody damn nigh to impossible). And how are all the other Mums doing in the ongoing battle against the clothes which are too small vs. the ones that fit vs. the ones you got given by friends which are still too big (and don’t you dare to forget about these).

On the way to finding out what I want to bring across

So, I feel, I am slowly but steadily approaching the core of the matter and the core of what we are and want to be as parents and what I want this blog to be about. We’re of the average parenting* section and we do not have any ambitions to be amongst the highflyers. We’re amongst the set who are trying to survive the daily craze, do our best and enjoy the ride. And certainly the latter must be the most important part. Hell, we only get to do this once and I am sure we will one day look back and not know where that family-time has gone. So I don’t want to spend too much energy agonising over how our life might not look perfect from the outside (because it ain’t – and it is at the same time). Or how my kids are not wearing matching clothes. To be honest, these days I’m happy if Mimi #1 actually wears clothes.

 

dressforsuccess-2

This is Mimi #1 hiding as she has deemed all the clothes I presented her with as unwearable. “I don’t really like them Mum” (yes child, I know that feeling of not having anything appropriate in the wardrobe!).

 

I want us to make sure we put as much of US as we can into this parenting-thing. And I would love to know that there are people out there we could have a laugh with virtually. Since with kids and jobs and all, we hardly get to meet all the great friends we have in the real world in person, so why not use the great invention of Social Media?

My hopes for this blog

So I’m hoping that, over time, this blog will grow into a little community of people who also marvel about the beauty and complete crazyness of parenting. A community of funny, exhausted and above all honest humans who know that life is serious, but that you can’t take it seriously all the time. After having read this article in the Tagesanzeiger today I am, more than ever, convinced that it is so important to manage expectations also with people who aren’t yet parents. There are a lot of things which change with kids, and not always in a good way. But most of the time (really, almost always. Almost.), we wouldn’t want to go back to pre-kids era. So this is also why at the end of every post I’m urging you to share and comment, in the hope that we can all have a laugh or a cry, and something to talk about, even if you do not always agree with our approach.

*”Average Parenting” is a term and an Instagram account which I became familiar with through one of my favourite bloggers called Mommyshorts. She has just recently launched a book with that title.

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December 6, 2016

Making Room for Awesome Twosome Memories

If you follow me on Instagram (Twomimimom) you have been witness to TMD and my AWESOME twosome weekend in beautiful Arosa.

We went for a walk, for nice meals, we enjoyed our beautiful room, the out-of-this-world spa, and we skied. It has actually been around 4 years since we last skied together, which truly is ages. That was the winter before I got pregnant with Mimi #1. And since then I have either been pregnant or too busy with a baby. So it was one of those instances where we felt that we were reclaiming a morsel of our old life. Because we were once, in the pre-Mimi-era, pretty good at going for a skiing Holiday.

tmd_tmm_skibrillenselfie-2

Not as young as we used to be, but at least we are skiing again!

 

Making room for two

TMD and me try to make the effort of organising a twosome extended weekend every around 4 months or so. Basically we abuse Birthdays and the likes as an excuse to spend all the money we used to spend in one week’s holiday in just two days. Of course we are very lucky in that we have the grandparents near enough and willing to help us getting this time off.

Here we go again…

It might not come as a surprise to you that always, always before those weekends, I come to the point where I can’t be asked to go. Compared to how it used to be without Mimis, it is a lot of effort getting there. Since we feel we cannot impose both the children on one grand-parenting side, we have split them up the past two times. Mimi #1 went to the in-laws and Mimi #2 went to my Mum. So far this has worked fine, though it seems Mimi #2 is starting to struggle a bit with the “single-child” setup, so we will have to see what happens next time.

Apart from the organisational effort in advance, (asking everybody if they are around and willing, booking the Hotel, figuring out who picks up which child when and packing for four persons) it is also emotionally difficult for me  in the run up. I still struggle with the guilt sometimes and it is always, always hard to say good-bye.

HOWEVER, whenever I have finally gotten over all that, it is all worth it. Always.

 

arosa_tmm_ski

Have we met before?

 

Just this sense of freedom when it’s just the two of you in a car. No need to ruin your back twisting to search for toys which have fallen into god knows what crack somewhere in the back of the car. You just stop whenever you feel like it and grab a quick coffee. Hell, you rebel, you just get out of the car and walk away, rather than unbuckling and lifting down two short people and then crawling your way to the restaurant/shops at a snail’s pace.

Sometimes it’s just great to remember, how easy things can be. And how much there is to look forward to with the Mimis getting older.

Not as if we regret the life we have now (well, maybe just sometimes when we’ve had a rough week…), but it feels good to remember who you also are as a couple. After all, I’m hoping that when the Mimis grow older (and those baby feet no longer patter around our flat, *sob*) and eventually move out (yep, getting a bit ahead of myself here), I still want to live together with the man I married. I know there is no guarantee that this will work out. But having a weekend together is a.) great fun b.) great fund and c.) gives us the feeling that we’re actually “working” on our relationship for once, rather than just co-existing. Which, frankly, is what we do most of the time. Because it is just so easy to slip into this habit of coexistence . Our daily and weekly routine is so packed, we just want to enjoy the two to three hours of grown-up time, after the Mimis went to bed, in peace. And this “peace” does not involve twosome soul-searching. It usually involves our close family friends the TV, the Internet and the Smartphone. (or when do you imagine I’m writing this blog??)

So therefore, if you can organise it at all, I very highly recommend stretching yourselves a bit out of your comfort zone and making the effort of organising weekends, or even just one night away. Especially if you’re like us and you struggle with the “date night” setup and do this about as often as you have been waxing your legs since you had kids. Not nearly as many times as you should have.

Side-effects, wanted and unwanted ones

As a side-effect I believe that these weekends enable the grandparents to establish their own relationship with the Mimis. The grandparents can finally spoil the Mimis in any which way they like without the motherfigure constantly hovering around and rolling her eyes. In this particular instance it turned out that both grandmothers had the same idea and went to the x-mas markets in their respective neighbourhood, where they both simultaneously bought humonguous balloons which now grace our already cramped living room. On top of that, Mimi #1 insists the balloons need to “sleep” (i.e. hover) right next to their beds. I tell you, these balloons scare the sh.. out of me whenever I walk into them in the dark.  But this, of course, is a sacrifice TMD and me are willing to make.

How do you handle your twosome time? Any easy tips for notoriously lazy people such as us? (And no, I do not want to hear that being and staying a couple is hard work… even if I suspect it is)

mimis_balloons

I herewith present you with “Pinguin” and “Schneemaa” the two new inhabitants of our lounge…

 

 

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